I’m a terrible fit for throwing pottery. I love it anyway.

This month, I’m taking a pottery throwing class with two of my friends, and needless to say… I’m not great.

It’s not even my first time making pottery. I used to work with ceramics a lot as a kid, took multiple classes in high school, and even took a class last December to refresh myself on the basics of throwing. When it comes to hand built pottery, I love it. It’s peaceful, creative, and fun.

But throwing clay is another beast entirely.

For those new to pottery terms, throwing is basically how we make most circular objects. Think of handmade cups, mugs, vases, bowls, plates, etc. Chances are, they were probably thrown on a pottery wheel (a fast-moving, often motor-powered wheel to hold the clay).

Throwing pottery requires precision, practice, and most of all… patience. Every tiny movement matters, and getting distracted means that the entire piece can quite literally collapse into a pile of sloppy, useless clay.

There’s something mesmerizing—even magical—about watching someone who is good at throwing, because they make it look easy. Like the gods themselves sculpting something where once there was nothing.

Meanwhile, when I throw a piece, I am just as likely to end up with something halfway decent as I am to end up with literally nothing.

The last time I took this pottery class, I thought my ADHD was to blame for my disastrous pot attempts. After all, ADHD is pretty much iconic for making you have less frustration tolerance, less focus, and less patience. You can’t make the clay go faster just because you’re bored. You have to coax it slowly and carefully, and be prepared to start over if it decides it’s not going to work anyway.

However, this time around, I’ve realized the real problem…

Perfectionism.

Every time I make a decent piece, I want it to be—no, expect it to be—perfect. Long after most people would have moved along to their next attempt, safely storing the decent one on a shelf to dry, I’ll still be fiddling with it, trying to get it just right. Maybe the walls are too thick, or the floor isn’t level, or I just decide the shape isn’t quite right.

Maybe there’s nothing wrong with it at all.

Time after time, my perfectionism destroyed my pieces. See, the thing about throwing pottery is that the clay gets wetter the longer you work with it. Eventually, it’s too wet to sustain a shape and becomes unusable. Your best bet is to throw with confidence and to finish as quickly as the clay allows, then to leave it alone.

I was sure that I could fix every imperfection if I just stuck with it.

I’d noticed the trend during the last class I took, but identifying the problem and fixing it are two very different things. I tried setting timers and insisting I’d stop when it went off (I didn’t) and tried having friends hold me accountable to leave the pot the heck alone after a certain point.

In the end, though, what finally made it stick was realizing just how much my need to be perfect was hurting myself. How I risked ending up with nothing to show for the class—no fond reminder or thing to learn from—by insisting I couldn’t accept anything less than perfect.

Again and again, I was willing to destroy the little progress I’d made rather than accept the imperfect attempt at growth.

And when I stopped doing that? When I finally forced myself to declare myself finished even when the piece wasn’t “perfect”? Well, for the first time, I had a whole group of pieces in front of me.

None of them were perfect. Heck, none of them were even close.

But for the first time, that was okay.

The imperfections that had felt so huge while I was throwing were barely noticeable now. For most, I couldn’t remember what had been bothering me at all.

They were cute, and quirky, and showed genuine progress.

And best of all? They were mine.

What I’ve been up to lately

The thing about freelancing is that often, articles will come out weeks to whole months after I submit them. That was especially true for the article on peonies below, which I wrote around Memorial Day when our peonies were in bloom.

While I love all the articles I write (benefits of being a freelancer—I pitch the stuff I’m interested in), the peony article in particular has a special place in my heart. It’s about my mother, my grandmother, my aunt, and the way that these seemingly insignificant flowers tie us together.

• What Peonies Can Teach Us About Learning From Those Before You, SUCCESS

• Easy Ways to Boost Your Photography Skills and Benefit Your Business, SUCCESS

What’s the deal with… J.K. Rowling?

People who aren’t constantly online can miss some of the cultural conversation that happens within the internet’s strange hallowed halls. Think of this as your at-a-glance way to catch up. (And reach out if you have a topic you’d like to see covered here! I’m very much hoping this will be an interactive section.)

Most people who know me also know that I was once an enormous Harry Potter fan.

I was the kid at the midnight releases of the books. The one who grew up alongside the actors and characters, and who practically had every line memorized. Reading Harry Potter with my mom helped me get rid of my speech impediment, and remains some of my most cherished memories with her before she passed. I literally built part of my career on my Harry Potter expertise.

All of this to say, I hope you’ll take me seriously when I emphasize that you should not support J.K. Rowling.

Over the last six years, Rowling has essentially turned herself into the face of the anti-transgender movement. Under the guise of supporting cisgender women’s rights, she has made it her mission to use her vast wealth and influence to target those who are transgender and non-binary. (You can read the “highlights” on GLAAD’s accountability page.)

Rowling has donated immense amounts of money to restricting and eliminating transgender rights and has publicly and repeatedly disparaged the LGBTQ+ community. In April, when the United Kingdom’s Supreme Court declared that transgender women were not legally considered women (thereby stripping them of many rights), Rowling tweeted the photo below. She’d personally publicly supported this, and donated to the group that was suing that led to this decision.

If this is your first time hearing this, don’t beat yourself up too much. This isn’t to shame you for liking Harry Potter, or to blame you if you weren’t aware of what’s been going on. This doesn’t even mean I expect you to go throw out every Harry Potter-related item you have. Maybe you didn’t know, and that’s okay.

But here’s the thing: you do know now.

Now you know that every dollar you spend on Rowling’s work is one more way that she can continue to attack the transgender community. Every time you watch Harry Potter on HBO Max, or get hyped for the new show, you’re helping Rowling’s influence and power grow.

It’s worth noting that things that you already own—or that you buy used—aren’t adding money to Rowling’s pocket. If you can’t stand the idea of being without the books or movies, find them that way.

But if you want to help protect transgender loved ones, here are the things to actively avoid:

• Buying any new merchandise for Harry Potter or Fantastic Beasts (including books and movies)

• Seeing any of the movies in theater for either franchise

• Visiting the Wizarding World at Universal and spending any money there. (You don’t pay to get into that area specifically, so you can wander mostly guilt-free. Just skip the wand shopping.)

• Visiting the studio tours

• Watching the new HBO Harry Potter series, rewatching the movies (this is more indirect, but the more views they have, the more HBO will pay to keep them on the platform)

• Purchasing Hogwarts Legacy or other Harry Potter-related video games, phone games, board games, etc.

It’s true that you personally ceasing your Harry Potter habit won’t suddenly make Rowling less rich. However, shifts in spending have a proven impact on businesses, celebrities, and social issues. (Just look at Target.)

This is one way that you can make a real difference in a meaningful way.

One Way You Can Help Someone Today

This week’s is an easy one, but one that can be genuinely extremely beneficial! When watching TV or movies with your friends and family, consider asking if anyone wants the captions on (or just turn them on quietly without drawing attention to it).

Obviously captions can help those who can’t hear, but they also help groups you may not think about, like those with auditory processing disorders and language learners. (Plus, bonus: when everyone won’t stop talking over the movie, you still know what’s going on.)

If you want to take this a step further, consider captioning any remote meeting or video that you take for work. Many of the biggest systems have easy, built-in methods of doing so that can provide captions live if you just turn on the setting.

Recommending…

I’m a little behind the trend, but I finally had a chance to watch The Residence, and it definitely didn’t disappoint. If you like Knives Out/Glass Onion, How to Get Away With Murder, and other “cozy mystery” sorts of movies and shows, you’ll like this one. The cast is great, the set is fun, and the writing is exactly the sort of sharp wit you’d expect from a Shondaland production (aka, the originators of Bridgerton, How to Get Away With Murder, Scandal, etc.).

I want to hear from you! Have you heard a term going around that you’d like to know the meaning of? Do you wish you knew more about something I’ve mentioned here? Send me an email, and remember, there are no silly questions. 

Anna Wenner is a writer whose work has appeared in The New York Times’ Wirecutter, SUCCESS Magazine, Business Insider, USA Today’s Reviewed, Lovepop, Hallmark, and more. You can learn more about her at her website.